Denis was a coward, of that there is no doubt. Whenever there was a large scale disturbance in a pub or club, Denis could often be seen driving in the opposite direction or parked in a side street. He also had an alarming propensity for dropping his colleagues in the cart by inadvertently/purposely opening his mouth in front of supervisory officers.
The situation was dreadful, as this man just couldn't be trusted in any way whatsoever. Naturally, as you would expect, his peers detested him. Furthermore, many of them plotted to discredit him. The people he "blew up" to the bosses hated him, but the bosses hated him even more.
Denis suffered a number of plots to discredit him, all of which worked, but none of them was as successful as the one I am about to describe. Everyone in the division was in on it, and our divisional radio room put the whole thing on "talk through", ensuring that every officer in our division could monitor events as the plot unfolded. Even neighbouring divisions were "tipped the wink" about what was going on, and a great many tuned in their radios to our divisional frequency. The only person who didn't know what was going on was Denis, but he was soon to find out.
The radio room sent Denis to a wholly fictitious job of "intruders on premises" on a small, isolated industrial estate on the edge of a village. The time was about 04.00 hrs on a Winter night. When Denis (finally) arrived at the industrial estate, he saw a well built man in a Gorilla mask cavorting around the place. The man in the Gorilla mask was my good mate, Emmet, but Denis didn't know that.
From a safe distance, Denis hailed the intruder, but the intruder ran away very slowly. Denis followed, again at a safe distance, as the "intruder" made his way across an adjacent field. On the other side of this field, on a quiet country lane, five officers waited in three cars. The radio traffic was tense and excited, as Denis spluttered on about having lost the intruder following a desperate tussle.
Emmet got back to the police cars long before Denis arrived, giving him plenty of time to take off his Gorilla mask and civilian jacket. On seeing six men in uniform, Denis was suddenly emboldened. He told us of how he nearly had this guy, but that he had gotten away following a struggle. We knew that his claim was a total fabrication, and that he had never been closer than a hundred yards. Revenge is a dish best served cold, so we said nothing to alert him to what was about to happen.
05.00 hrs was the official/ unofficial time of our well earned cup of tea, but that morning's little break was going to be a very special one. Denis was in full swing will his tale of heroism, but was about to be reunited with his Gorilla- headed nemesis. Emmet recovered his mask and jacket from the police car, entered the building and ran straight at Denis.
Emmet, et al, told the true story of the night's event, and Denis was shamed and ridiculed by every officer present. He learned that all the senior officers in the division had prior knowledge of the plot, and that this knowledge had now spread around the entire force area and beyond. Though I cannot now confirm the truth of this claim, I believe that even neighbouring forces were monitoring the events of that very satisfying night.
Even months later, officers throughout the division made monkey type noises and actions whenever they saw Denis. His credibility was totally and absolutely shot, and even new recruits made fun of him. We all felt that justice had been done.
Other plots followed that one, but none were as deeply satisfying as that particular conspiracy.
Kind Regards,
Stephen.
