Original composition

[Ignacchitti]

Hi there,

Sharing the first sketch of a new tune I am composing
For now it's just 1 full verse and 1 chorus, I intend to add more parts.
Also, in the first video I kind of improvised some notes and frills at the end.
Then I did a second version, trying to replicate it but more legato and slower.

Please don't mind any mistakes... I wondered if I should share it or not because I get very self-conscious with imperfections and sloppiness, so please be kind

The tune is called "The doorbell's ringing (but it's just the milkman)". Supposed to be a lighthearted song about a man who's waiting for his loved one to come back after a fight, hoping she will. The doorbell rings and the telephone rings but it's never her.
If anyone has specific ideas for lyrics, shoot!

 

[murathan]

Feels like old jazz...

 

[losthobos]

Like it ...a lot.....
Here's some lyrics and a lovely chord progression on same theme.....

Keep em coming.....

 

[Ignacchitti]

Great lyrics, @losthobos !

Thanks @murathan , that is what I was going for!

Wrote the lyrics last night Here goes:

The doorbell's ringing
My baby left me
The doorbell's ringing
Will she come back to me?

She can't bear the thought of having one more fight
I don't know if I can take another sleepless night
Yes she's left me and its just the milkman ringing

Ring ring goes the telephone
My heart is racing
I am all alone
Crying, hoping, waiting

I must have gotten at least a dozen calls today
I'm going crazy since my baby went away
Yes she's left me, and why is she not calling?

[Bridge, music still to be composed for this part:]
No more cigarettes
Never been so blue
She found out and I regret
That I didn't think it through
(Last line was supposed to be "She found out that I called you" but my wife got upset over the implication the guy was cheating, so I had to change it to appease her).

Night goes, day comes
Where is my baby?
The doorbell's ringing,
Will she come back to me?

I was wrong but that was yesterday,
Mr. Milkman, please go tell her I'm sorry all the way
Please go tell her that I need her back to stay