First time in public... in 38 years

[JerryPH]

I promised that I would post about this experience in another post, here it is.

I think my story is fairly well known around here... started lessons at 4 attended the conservatory for several years, burned out and quit. February of this year the accordion returns in to my life thanks to this forum and by April, started with the desire to play for the man that started me on this journey. Well, my father passed away in June and my start back in to music was far, far, far from joyful. The first practice session lasted about 10 minutes and I put down the accordion, disgusted with my total lack of ability. A week later I tried again, it was marginally better, and now and then I would pick it up and spend a little time and muscle memory improved, though flexibility and speed were nonexistent.

I needed a little more motivation, and so I visited the local accordion club here in October and November. It was nice, fun, and I thought that if I was going to get better, I needed some motivation, so I kinda-sorta said I would bring an accordion to a meet and play. For me that was jumping in to the deep end. Along with this came the story of this FR-8x that was available, but the owner hard to track down. That story I am not going to bore you with but will give the link to my blog with THAT story (for those interested). I then committed to play at the December 10th Christmas party.

Now, I had the perfect accordion for such an event, but I was still very weak in terms of playing and toss in the challenge of getting to know how to use the 8x, and it all made for one majorly stressful and (ok I will admit it) scarey decision. Id had the accordion about 3 weeks, but 1 week I was out of town, the second week I was working long hours, so basically I had about 10-12 hours of prep time with the 8x.

In between this, Richard Noel reads about my acquisition of the 8x here in this forum and privately messages me and he offers me a few of his sets to help me out. We discuss what I am playing and he sends over a few sets. Instead of wasting what little time I had trying to match sounds with songs, I find that his registrations are pretty much a match for the music I need and I can concentrate on the music and less on the technical aspects. A HUGE help.

Day of the event, I get there early, set up along with the president of the club and we discuss. I got the impression that I would play after supper. Right in the middle of the 2nd course, he introduces me and off I go to perform. Outside I am calm and smiles, inside I am shaking like a leaf and so nervous I broke into a sweat... lol. Well, to make a long story short, I thought I would be playing for 10-15 minutes, instead I ended up playing about an hour the first time and another 30-45 minutes after supper was over. At one point, the president of the club joined me, not with accordion, but with song... haha!

Id like to say that my performance was flawless, but it was far from that. So many things crept in to distract me and I made several small mistakes that I recovered from but still there they were. The nice part was that in a room full of accordionists and accordion aficionados, they were very appreciative with their applause and also curious about the 8x, so near the end of the evening, a small group of guys and gals circled me and we chatted about the 8x for a few minutes. A few nice memories:
- After I finished the first set, I went to my table, and one accordionist there said so, youve not played in over 30 years huh? Well, Ive been playing for 30 years and I still cannot play like you just did!.

- As I was playing the 2nd song, I noticed 3-4 people whipping out their cameras and start video recording me. One person in particular caught my attention, the wife of the previous owner of my 8x. As she was recording my playing she was smiling and had huge tears just rolling down her cheeks. She cried enough that even my mother (who was sitting beside her), teared up too... lol

- At the end of the evening as I was just starting to pack up, people started to leave, but not one person passed by without thanking me, telling that they enjoyed my playing. Lots of hand shakes from guys and even a few kisses from the ladies, whoo-hoo! {}

- Not to forget... a big THANK-YOU!! to Richard Noel, his generosity was a major reason my evening went as well as it did!

Next meeting I have committed to play again and I know things will be a lot smoother thanks to more practice time and more familiarity with the 8x. I also feel that I likely wont feel as stressed again, at least I hope not! :lol:

 

[Thomas N]

What a great story Jerry!

"One person in particular caught my attention, the wife of the previous owner of my 8x. As she was recording my playing she was smiling and had huge tears just rolling down her cheeks. She cried enough that even my mother (who was sitting beside her), teared up too"

That's what it's all about. Excellent.

 

[debra]

Sounds like a wonderful experience. It doesn't matter that not everything was perfect. The most important dimension is always the emotional dimension! When people are in tears something was very right! My wife plays songs in a mental institute (in a part where most people have Alzheimer's) and sometimes people are moved to tears because the music brings back memories and emotions.

 

[Glenn]

Thanks for sharing Jerry I can imagine the stress inside was quite high on the Richter scale of things. Clearly you made a good impression on your audience and indeed yourself. Could you give us an idea of your play list? Would help me at least picture the event better.

 

[JerryPH]

The audience was a mix of French, Italian, a few English and two Czechs (me and my mom... lol).

I don't remember the exact order, but it went something like:
- Beer Barrel Polka, full Czech version
- C'est si bon
- Jingle Bells
- Besame Mucho
- La Cumparsita
- I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus
- Maria Marie
- Bambino (swing version)
- Pretend (cha cha)
- Under Paris Skies
- White Christmas
- That's Amore
- La Paloma
- Guantanamera
- Here comes Santa Claus
- Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
- Never on a Sunday
- Dancing Fingers
- This is my song
- Rose Marie (tango)

That was roughly the first hour. For the second set, It is a bit of a blur for me, but later today I can look at the video my mother took on my cell and the binder to give you an idea, if you want. Come to think of it, I've not even yet looked at the video myself, not sure if I want to.. lol. Lets see if I can maybe post a short excerpt here, depending how it came out... no promises.

If someone asked me today, after the event what my feelings were, I'd have to say first, I was an idiot for stopping for all those years. What a waste. Second, it showed me that music did not have to be just hours of hard work and that there is a world outside of classical music. The biggest lesson for me, I think, was that entertaining is NOT performing. It's totally acceptable to not be perfect and it is ok to have fun while playing.

 

[Yffisch]

Very inspiring story! Thanks for sharing

 

[Pianoman1]

Gosh what courage to do that WELL DONE you

Question what is the Roland like to play They have a fatal attraction which I may not be able to resist
Donald Ross my teacher hates them

 

[Acon]

Such a wonderful and inspiring story Jerry. I felt my tears in the eyes now.

Really happy to know you put yourself back to the stage!! And I want to congratulate you that you got a wonderful instrument! Always want to try the Roland V-accordion!

Enjoy these good memories and compliments. You deserve them!!

And hope one day I can play few of these songs on your list. In front of people!
Cheers!

 

[BakersfieldAccordion]

Well done, Jerry! I suspect you are unlikely to ever leave the musical world again.

The extent to which music can affect the very soul of the listeners has been a real eye-opener. At one venue someone would always ask for the same song, but every time I played it she would start to quietly cry as she relived the connections the music recalled. I couldn't look at her long without tearing up myself. I have also played for Alzheimer's patients on occasion, and I quickly realized how the music of their past could make them come alive, if only for an hour. They may start dancing, tapping their toes, or just smiling, but the music connects in a way that words do not.
On the flip side, occasionally I'll have a background music gig, which I seldom enjoy. But even at those events, I inevitably find that a lack of observable response does not necessarily mean that people were not listening or appreciating the music. I just happen to prefer playing for those who show their enjoyment.

I am also convinced that most people enjoy hearing you play "from the heart" more than from the head, and even if mistakes are made they feel the emotion of the music and are not bothered by the occasional mistake. I'm referring to those listening for enjoyment rather than as a judge deciding on the best technical performance. At the very least, finding a way to connect to the audience is important (to me, at least) as it then becomes a truly interactive event that affects performer and listeners alike. How we do that will vary depending on our skills and personalities, but obviously your performance is a good example of how it can impact both you and the audience.

Before embarking on an accordion career in retirement, I had played a lot of competitive tennis. I find that the adrenalin rush is similar in both areas. The need to deal with anxiety is essential in both arenas. But the best part of both is the amazing sense of satisfaction when things go well, and that feeds my soul.

Congratulations.
Richard

 

[JerryPH]

Sorry for the upcoming long post... lol

First, thank-you all for the kind words of encouragement and support, I am appreciateive.

Question what is the Roland like to play They have a fatal attraction which I may not be able to resist Donald Ross my teacher hates them

I think everyone should at the very least try one out just once in their life. People like Donald Ross or our own Paul DeBra will hate them for their own very valid reasons. Other people will LOVE them from day 1. People like me will have a love/hate relationship that eventually will grow to loving the instrument based on what it does for us and care a bit less about what it cannot do.

Let me repost an excerpt of my thoughts that I had of the 8x after only one week of using it. It really touches on the experiences that I have seen in general that the majority of new 8x owners go through. People that have gone from a 7x or 3x have a less dramatic event and most love it right off the bat and a few (like Cory Pesaturo or our own Richard Noel), prefer the 7x and after trying the 8x out, decide not to move to the newer boxes.

Here are my impressions of the Roland FR-8x after 1 week of using it:

The first few days were a technical nightmare, it was very complex, but it gets better with time.

The treble key action of the 8x: Compared to my Hohner Morino VI N (an accordion that has likely the most perfect keyboard ever made), I am really spoiled and compared to the Roland… bad case of weak sauce. Same thing for the bass side. The Hohner’s spacing is perfect for speed and accuracy, especially the Free Bass.

The treble key presses of the 8x are deeper and the action feels slower. I cannot get the fast runs on the 8x as well as I can on any of my other accordions. That said, people like Cory Pesaturo or Michael Bridge have no troubles playing like a maniac on an 8x, so it’s just something that likely needs to get used to. It does take more work to get fast runs out of it, though, but it is definitely doable. I believe that the big reason the depth is increased is likely for the velocity key effect (hit light, quiet notes, hit hard, loud notes). There are no levers or rods to move, so the feel is different from a real acoustic accordion… sometimes a touch distracting. I wish the depth of the right hand key presses was at least 30-40% less.

What drives me bonkers nuts is the left hand, specifically the spacing of the bass buttons. They are in reality just a tiny bit further apart, but it feels like a canyon in between each button for me! Probably not much further apart than other accordions, but they are wider than on my Hohner and Elka. This makes mistakes quite easy, and you can COMPLETELY FORGET about playing the Free Bass. First I never played a converter instrument, but the spacing is nothing short of horrible for me. If I try to play Free Bass for 10 minutes on the FR-8x, my fingers painfully cramp up badly, something I don’t and indeed, never felt on the Hohner. And yet again, people like Uwe Steger and Michael Bridge have no issues moving amazingly fast on the8xs Free Bass buttons, so who am I to complain… lol. I do wish the spacing of the left hand buttons matched my Hohners layout.

The bellows, that is another thing. I read about initially how stiff they were supposed to be, and wow, are they ever! When playing, I pull further and much harder than I should when I play, just to help break them in, as they normally will do in a few months for other people, but it is another minor annoyance. One that hopefully disappears in time, so not too bad, but it is annoying and again distracting. One guy hung his 8x accordion up by the straps and left the bellows dangling in a fully opened position overnight. Initially this sounded really silly to me when I first read it, but now I am seriously considering doing the very same thing.

Overall, playing the FR-8x is a huge transition moving over from an acoustic accordion. The 8x is not a standard accordion, it is a computer with accordion looks and ergonomics with quirks added in. Incredibly complex, difficult to play initially, but damn, so much fun and **so** many musical possibilities! It is all these possibilities and the enjoyment one gets in playing this instrument that pretty much overcomes all the obstacles I mention above.

I don’t know what the future will bring, but with it being exactly a week old, this accordion already promises me years of all kinds of musical and technical projects, and that makes me happy! Toss in the BK-7m and you have even more potential available to you! I look forward to my time with this accordion and arranger, and I know it will motivate me even further on in my musical journey.

Paul, Glenn, Yffisch, Acon, and of course you Richard, as well as many others here on this forum... you guys are all part of my story in the accordion world. You all help make my days a good bit brighter and motivate me to try harder. You all help make me want to play a little each day. A few of you have even become my friends, people that I could sit down and have a drink and a laugh with, people I want to help and give back to, if I can. Indeed, this very forum is why the accordion has come back to my life... so for that... CHEERS!

 

[Glenn]

I'll drink to that (any excuse).

 

[Bohemiansecret]

So inspiring!Thank you. My son had a first recital ever, three months into his journey. He filled in where he mucked up and nearly missed the end. So he created his own ending. tadaa
Music is so healing

 

[JerryPH]

Hahaha, the power of innocence! ... my niece did that at her first piano recital too! Also every student was to play ONE song... she asked for and was left to play 3. What a ham she is, even to this day!

 

[Stephen Hawkins]

Hi Jerry,

It sounds like you had a very successful evening, and I'm pleased that your musical contribution was so warmly welcomed. Long may you continue to bring pleasure to appreciative audiences.

My own background (as you may recall) is in Folk Music. The clubs I visit are extremely friendly places, and nobody much cares if you play the odd bum note. We recently had a young woman, in her 40's, (so young to me) who was quite literally shaking with fear and deep anxiety before she played. As she sat trembling, guitar in hand, I pointed out that the sky would not fall on her if she made a mistake, and went on to tell her that no-one in that room could claim never to have made a mistake.

That evening was a couple of months ago, and I am happy to report that Jenny has grown massively in confidence. She is limited to about three or four tunes, but she plays them quite well. Most important of all, she feels that her contributions to the evening's entertainment are appreciated, and that she is loved and respected by all our members. Brenda & I are very fond of Jenny, as our daughters are around the same age as her.

A few of our older members jump on opportunities to tease each other when things go wrong, but there is no malice intended. One friend of ours regularly forgets the words of a song and utters "oh bollocks". I usually tell him that I am unfamiliar with those lyrics. Some months ago one of our better guitarists made a little gaff during his performance, at the end of which he asked, "did anyone spot my deliberate mistake?" I shouted out, "Which one?" ...... there wasn't a dry eye in the room.

We all contribute to the best of our abilities, and that is the whole point. I still rattle out tunes on my Chinese made Chanson, which sounds very good (even when I'm playing it). My next instrument may be a 120 Bass Pearl River, and I can almost hear the derision from the elitists. I love my Chanson, as do members of my Folk Clubs, and I just don't understand the negative comments directed at them. The tonal quality is quite good, and it functions very well indeed.

You keep up the good work, Jerry, but never lose sight of the fact that you are doing it for fun.

Have a great 2017.

Stephen.

 

[JerryPH]

Thanks so much Stephen, you are totally right about it being for fun, and though it will take me a little more time to get comfy with my setup, every time I wear the accordion, I have a good time and it gets better as I get more familiar with the 8x and as the fingers ever so slowly loosen up and let me play with a little more confidence.

If I was to compare my performance of December 10th to the first time I played after coming back this early April, and see the differences between these two times, it would be indescribable. The difference between December 10th and 25th, though nowhere near as vast, are still quite dramatic. I've realized that I can again make music!

Now for 2017, I am not even sure which way the music will take me, but I know I want one thing... this time I don't want to stop, and if I play and make other people happy, that is just a whole other goal that I will have attained that was not even planned for.

 

[RodionGork]

Jerry, thanks a lot for sharing this interesting, both somewhat sad and joyful story! It is quite inspiring, by the way
May I ask what age you attend conservatory? Is it a kind of university for musicians or what? If so, then it means you keep exercising since 4 y.o. - right?
And later - in the course of these 38 years - had you been playing music sometimes, e.g. for personal pleasure - or was avoiding it completely?

 

[JerryPH]

I started formal private lessons with good unstructors from age 4 to 14, at which age my instructor said he had nothng more he could teach me. At age 13, I started Free Bass accordion and from ages 14-18 I studied at the Glen Sawich and near the end, a little with Joseph Macerollo. Yes it was a conservatory for music only. In fact, at the time, only one of 2 places in Canada that taught Free Bass. My father and I traveled the 1200km there and back every week for years because the conservatory was in Toronto Ontario, and we lived in Montreal Quebec.

I quit because of the pressure and exertion. I burned out SO bad that I collapsed and was hospitalized, and when I came out, it was pretty much done with the accordion and was 100% in avoidance mode. I had to, if I wanted to keep my sanity... lol

Perhaps in the whole 38 years, I picked up the accordion 3-4 times, but only for a minute or so, but since I could no longer play to any previous standard, I would get discouraged and pack it away immediately. During that time I also started a carreer and of course a wife came (and went) in there, so everything was left packed and unused until February of 2016, so a little over 38 years of no accordion.

When I returned to the accordion, Id had decided to documenting my story starting in February 2016 as a way to track my improvements, if any, and decided to put that story up on the web in the form of my blog. It was a convenient way to access the information, at least for me.

My first time actually wearing an accordion to play it came almost a month and a half later, mid-April. It was only for 10 minutes and I sincerely wanted to cry at how bad I was. The fingers went nowhere that my brain commanded and after 10 minutes I was angry, frustrated and was finished with the accordion... until April 24th, 2016. That day was the very first day that I decided I wanted to play accordion again, because I wanted my father to hear me, to have the pleasure of the accordion again. I practiced for a whole 30 minutes. Further practice sessions continued here and there.

My father died June 3rd, 2016, and by that point, because of his illness, I can tell you that I played a little for him, but I cannot tell you how much, if any of that, he was able to hear or understand, such was the nature of his illness.

In our family it is customary to mourn for 6 weeks, and during that time, no music, TV or forms of entertainment, not even practicing. I found it hard for the first week, as the accordion had become a habit for me by then, but after another 6 weeks of no exposure, I was sure that I was going to just pack things away and forget it all for another 38 years, but that is not quite what happened, as someone had a plan for me...

Around the 5th week of the mourning, someone came on this very forum looking for an accordionist to record for them 3 small short polkas. They had to be original, there had to be at no cost. It was for a man that was making a book for a USA based beer company. I mentioned that it would be fun to do something like that, but I knew that I could not because I was still in mourning. The 6th week passed, I was contacted via email if I was interested in doing the project, and inside, I felt that I needed to do this, so I did.

It took me 2 days. The first day, I spent over 4 hours on that first piece, which was only 30 seconds long. The next day, the second song took me 2 hours to complete and the 3rd one took me about 15 minutes total, including mastering and exporting to MP3 format.

Today I can promise you this... had I not been asked to do this little project, the accordions would have 100% gone back into the closet and been forgotten. In fact, I had already even planned it. I had also planned to quit this forum during my mourning period... but I did not. The forum helped remind me what was waiting for me downstairs. It kept me connected to accordion friends and linked to the fact that one day soon, I could try to play again.

August and September were very busy for me, so I did not play or practice very much, perhaps 5 times total. In October, I visited the local back in November. It was nice enough again that I committed verbally to play in December.

December 10th was the performance that I discuss here after a total of about 8 hours of practice time on the Roland.

If someone had told me this story and said that this was what was going to happen to me, I would have called them crazy, but bringing the accordion back in to my life has made some very serious and wonderful changes.

I think Ill stick with it.

 

[RodionGork]

Jerry, thanks a lot for such a detailed answer! I asked because I have no clear understanding of music education system in other countries and was somewhat puzzled at first... And thanks for the links - it was great to read more details of your local accordion club etc!

May I ask, how it happened that your parents decided you should study music (and specifically accordion)? I suspect many parents do not believe this is a good investment of time (and even imagine a picture of starving musician at once) - unless they are musicians themselves... yes?

(At least when my father took me to music school he didnt tell me what instrument he wants me to learn... And I had not succeeded in impressing women who were testing children to decide whom to admit. So we were told to come, perhaps, year later... Huh...)

My father and I traveled the 1200km there and back every week

Thats impressive! The same as travelling between St-Petes and Moscow weekly here :shock:

But if not a secret, have you been playing any of the pieces mentioned above, using Free Bass? Or it is completely unnecessary for small / popular tunes? And these polkas recorded for beer company - was the Beer Barrel Polka among them? (Im curious because I was told to learn this tune - under the name of Rosamunde - by the old man who sold me PA Im trying to master now - he explained his father brought both this device and this tune from Berlin, when returning from the war... well, Ill try despite my miserable skills and poor condition of this device)

I think Ill stick with it.

Im going to watch your future videos! The story is truly motivating! Thanks once more for sharing it - as motivation is something quite important for me (especially after a day of miserable struggle against bethoveens marmotte )

 

[JerryPH]

May I ask, how it happened that your parents decided you should study music (and specifically accordion)? I suspect many parents do not believe this is a good investment of time (and even imagine a picture of starving musician at once) - unless they are musicians themselves... yes?

There were many people in my family that played instruments, quite a few accordionists. Neither of my parents could play to save their lives, though, they had music deep in their hearts. My dad especially had a great love of the accordion, and wanted to play quite badly, he just didnt have the brain for it.

I think a picture will say a thousand words in terms of why they chose the instrument for me:

http://syner-g.asuscomm.com/mymusic/files/minime.jpg>

That is a picture of me at around 17 months old... already I was showing musical preferences.

When I was a baby, everytime someone played the accordion, my hands went for it and I played with the keys. This never happened when someone played anything else. Once I got a little older, I displayed a talent for playing it. My parents just nurtured the talent and helped take me as far as I could go.

(At least when my father took me to music school he didnt tell me what instrument he wants me to learn... And I had not succeeded in impressing women who were testing children to decide whom to admit. So we were told to come, perhaps, year later... Huh...)

But if not a secret, have you been playing any of the pieces mentioned above, using Free Bass?

No Free Bass. My skills there are still very weak, but thats my fault... Im spending all my time playing Stradella based songs, and learning the FR-8x, which though it does have Free Bass capabilities, it is a converter instrument, and it doesnt really inspire me to use it. Ill get to it one of these days, I am sure. Canadian winters are pretty long.

And these polkas recorded for beer company - was the Beer Barrel Polka among them? (Im curious because I was told to learn this tune - under the name of Rosamunde - by the old man who sold me PA Im trying to master now - he explained his father brought both this device and this tune from Berlin, when returning from the war... well, Ill try despite my miserable skills and poor condition of this device)

No, that one has a copyright, so it could not be used. I had to write my own little tunes.

Actually, now that you mention it, Beer Barrel Polka was a song written by a Czech musician Jaromír Vejvoda in 1927 and the words were added in 1943 by Václav Zeman. The original title was Škoda Lásky which means Wasted Love!

It became very popular under different names like Beer Barrel Polka for the English and and Rosamunde for the Germans. That happens often to the poor Czechs... they also invented the Blue Skirt Waltz, however the real name was Červená sukýnka, or translated, roughly means RED skirt or Small RED dress... where the blue came in, I have no idea... lol

Youll like Beer Barrel Polka, it is a bit harder to play f you use the full real Czech version, but its very well known. I might even one day make a video playing that song on the Roland accordion, it is a very fun piece and almost everyone knows it.

Im going to watch your future videos! The story is truly motivating! Thanks once more for sharing it - as motivation is something quite important for me (especially after a day of miserable struggle against bethoveens marmotte )

A beautiful song, well worth learning!

 

[Stephen Hawkins]

Hi Jerry,

I will continue to monitor your progress through these pages, and truly hope that I see you grow in confidence. If you have Folk Clubs near to where you live, you could do worse than join in the fun.

Though we do have the odd visiting accordionist, I am the only regular accordionist at the clubs we attend. The mix of instruments (including a dulcimer) really does make our evenings interesting, and I would hate to play in a group where only one type of instrument was allowed.

I'm sorry to say that your Father's demise coincided with my birthday.

All The Best,

Stephen.