DIY Haircut.

[Stephen Hawkins]

It is true that I do not have a great abundance of hair on top, but the sides and back can be quite luxuriant. In fact, the hair in the previously mentioned places has been growing very quickly and very wildly during lock down.

My Barber, Ken, first cut my hair in 1963 as an apprentice, and opened his own shop in 1965. During the fifty-seven years I have know him, Ken has never failed to update me on the progress of my bald patch. He has been closed for the last few months, and I doubt that he will ever reopen again as he is now well into his seventies.

It is fair to say that Ken was/is a very old-fashioned barber, with a very old-fashioned clientele. Nothing in his shop is modern in any way, especially the proprietor.

My wayward hair needed urgent attention, and I couldn't be bothered breaking in a new barber. Yesterday I bought an electric hair clipper, and set about sharpening my head. The result is pleasing though not perfect, and I do have the odd one or two patches where I dug a little too deep. Still, the enterprise was a success in general terms, and I now feel smarter than I did before.

These are certainly strange times, as a neighbour demonstrated this morning. He thought that one of his four dogs was smiling at him, until he realised that it had a set of dentures in its mouth. The front garden and drive is enclosed by a fence, the only access being by a wrought iron gate, and the dogs had never left his property. How a set of false teeth got into his garden we will perhaps never know, but if you have any ideas .............

Kind Regards,

Stephen.

 

[Glenn]

You can’t leave us in such suspense. We need a photo.

 

[Chrisrayner]

I agree, we need several pictures of the scalp and at least one of the dog wearing dentures.

 

[Dingo40]

Here, we have been very lucky. Many barbers, including mine, have been able to continue functioning throughout the crisis, even though (at the height of it) dressed in protective gear and keeping waiting customers outside the shop.
Some older barbers did take the opportunity of retirement.
All else failing, my wife offered to cut my hair for me: she's quite good at it, just takes a bit longer than she barber does .

 

[Eddy Yates]

Congratulations, Stephen.
I’m afraid I’m beginning to look and sound like this guy:
I DO have a lot of hats and I use ‘em....

 

[Stephen Hawkins]

Hi Glenn & Chris,

My technical skills will not allow me to comply with your request. The only photograph of myself that I have posted on this site was done with the collaboration of a friend. This photograph shows me clutching my (then) recently acquired Hohner Arietta 120/41, and clearly demonstrates that I have kept my youthful good looks. (apart from the hair loss and wrinkles.)

Kind Regards,

Stephen.

 

[Stephen Hawkins]

Hi Dingo,

Brenda would cut my hair if I asked her, but four recent strokes have severely affected her motor control. My ears are handy for hooking my glasses onto, so I would rather keep them where they are.

Kind Regards,

Stephen.

 

[Stephen Hawkins]

Hi Eddy,

You have provided living proof that cousins shouldn't marry.

Keep wearing the hats. (set at a jaunty angle, of course.)

Kind Regards,

Stephen.

 

[knobby]

I can't oblige with the bald patch, but for the dog:

 

[Stephen Hawkins]

Hi Knobby,

Thank you for the side-splitting video ...... it was wonderful.

I didn't actually see my neighbours dog with the dentures in it's mouth, though he did show me the dentures prior to chucking them in his bin.

Kind Regards,

Stephen.

 

[Stephen Hawkins]

In common with most men, I read instruction booklets only after I have used any new product I have purchased. It just doesn't seem sporting to read an instruction manual before using the machine or implement you have bought, and removes any of the drama and excitement involved in flying blind.

My new electric hair trimmer came with a fairly comprehensive instruction booklet, but I didn't get around to reading it until this morning. Up until now, I have been happy enough to use it without reference to the booklet, and the results have been passably good. On closer examination of the booklet, however, it seems that I should have been putting a few drops of oil on the blades prior to use.

I did wonder why there was a little bottle of oil in the box my hair trimmer came in, but assumed it was for a 10,000 mile service. (or something similar) Never mind ....... I've got it now.

Kind Regards,

Stephen.

 

[Glug]

The trimmer oil is very light oil.
I used mine to fix the speed regulator in a very old music box

 

[Stephen Hawkins]

Hi Glug,

The bottle of oil which came with the hair trimmer is tiny, so I will soon be looking to buy more. I don't suppose that Castrol GTX will be any good for a hair trimmer, and I can't think where I can buy this specialist oil.

Kind Regards,

Stephen.

 

[Glenn]

Sewing machine oil should do it.

 

[Glug]

... or you can get a lifetime's supply of Wahl clipper oil on Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wahl-43917...48520&sprefix=wahl+clipper+oil,aps,155&sr=8-1

 

[knobby]

however, it seems that I should have been putting a few drops of oil on the blades prior to use.

I only put oil on mine every 5 or 6 uses - you can usually tell when it needs it as the clipper sound will be slightly different and you may feel a slight tugging on your hair. My small bottle of oil usually outlasts the clippers!

 

[Stephen Hawkins]

Hi Glenn,

There you are, you see; It isn't just advice on accordion maintenance we can expect here ....... we've got the lot. Sewing Machine Oil beats my idea of WD40.

Hi Glug,

You are truly amazing ...... fancy you knowing that my hair clippers were made by WAHL. I only knew because it is written in big letters on the box.

Hi Knobby,

It seems that I am rather late to the party, as it is obvious that yourself and others are vastly experienced self-scalpers. The booklet says I should oil the blades before and after use, but I think this is excessive. Perhaps they are just trying to sell more oil.

Kind Regards To You All,

Streamlined Stephen.

 

[Geoff de Limousin]

My wife has been cutting my hair for the last 15 years, using one of those electric clipper things. The little bottle of oil ran out about 10 years ago but the tool appears not too bothered running dry. Haircuts in France are quite pricy so , by now , we've probably saved enough for another accordion.

 

[Stephen Hawkins]

Hi Geoff,

Don't French Barbers do pensioner's rates? My Barber does, but it's only a quid less than the standard charge.

I would let Brenda cut my hair, but it just isn't safe given her condition.

Kind Regards,

Stephen.

 

[Geoff de Limousin]

Hi Stephen,

I'm not sure about pensioner rates at french barbers. I have not found one of those old fashioned 'blokes only' shops that existed in UK of my youth, where the lads used to buy their ' packet of three' on the way out. It's all up market salons I come across where one gets one's coiffure à la mode.

I sometimes get to cut my wife's hair.... yes I'm sure you are amazed... she just brushes her hair back and ties it in a pony tail and tells me how much to snip off the end ! Anyway, I pleased you got your head sorted. Cheers!!